How to Save a Marriage From Divorce After an Affair? This is a lengthy process. Trust has been broken. It takes time and a lot of effort to restore it. Here’s a list of suggestions:
If if it sounds hard, it’s because it’s hard. It’s a long process. You screwed up on a major level. But, it’s not impossible.
- Eliminate ALL contact with the person/s you cheated with. Phone calls, social media, presents, anything associated with them is gone. They can not have a presence in your life.
- Start individual therapy to address the reasons you cheated.
- Your partner you cheated on needs to start therapy to learn how to move beyond your violation of trust.
- Couples counseling is eventually needed, but wait until your partner/spouse says they are ready.
- You get no password protected anything anymore. Phone, email, social media is all open for your partner to review at will. You hide nothing.
- Learn to be honest about everything. Lying can not be tolerated. Period.
- A twelve step program like sexaholics anonymous or sex and love addicts anonymous may help.
- You may need to sleep in the guest room for a while. You don’t get to take your phone/computer/tablet in the guest room. You can’t be trusted that far yet.
- Sex happens at your partners speed, not yours. It may take a while for them to get back in the mood.
- Find a church. Attend and join.
- Don’t get into public shaming or belittling. This does nothing to help move forward and rebuild the relationship.
- You need to realize friends of the opposite sex are a bad idea. Cut those ties as well.
If if it sounds hard, it’s because it’s hard. It’s a long process. You screwed up on a major level. But, it’s not impossible.